


Falling Slowly

by danteaxel (tamikotheneko)



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: AU, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Anxious Steve, Borderline Personality Disorder, Borderline Steve Rogers, Bucky has flashbacks, Cap is an alter, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Eating Disorders, Flashbacks, M/M, Mentally Ill Characters, Non-Serum Steve Rogers/Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes | Shrinkyclinks, OSDD Steve Rogers, Personality Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Trans Male Character, Trans Steve, Trans Steve Rogers, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, barista Bucky, coffee shop AU, fight me, i will never apologize for writing all my characters as mentally ill, nor will i make it the center of the story, other specified dissociative disorder, ptsd bucky, shrinkyclinks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-01-27
Packaged: 2018-05-16 12:21:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5828404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tamikotheneko/pseuds/danteaxel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Take this sinking boat and point it home<br/>We've still got time</p><p>Steve and Bucky are two very different, very fucked up people. Somehow, that works.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Falling Slowly

**Author's Note:**

> There's gonna be lots of detailed mental illness stuff happening. If you get super triggered by flashbacks, self harm, disordered eating (low key) fights, or anything else that can happen as a result of neurodivergence/mental illness, i suggest you not read. I have BPD and OSDD, but not PTSD so if i mess something up please let me know so i can fix it. 
> 
> Title and summary lyrics are from Falling Slowly by Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova

 

“Can I get a tall dark roast?” Bucky nods without looking up. Uncapping his Sharpie, he asks,

 

“What name?”

 

“Steve.” Bucky’s head immediately whips up, bits of his hair falling from his bun to tickle his nose.

 

“Seriously, man? Again?”

 

Steve immediately adopts a defensive expression. 

 

“What?”

 

“You’ve been in here every day for the past two weeks and you always get black coffee, even though you CLEARLY hate it.”

 

Steve crosses his arms.

 

“Not your business.”

 

Bucky rolls his eyes.

 

“Fine, man. But I’d suggest trying something with a little more sugar and a little less coffee next time. They won't revoke your man-card for drinking a venti vanilla frappe or some shit.”

 

Steve seems to waver. 

 

“It’s not gonna help me keep from being made fun of,” he argues lamely. Bucky feels a rush of sympathy for the skinny guy. Being a foster kid and an amputee, he knows what being made fun of feels like. He wants to reach across the counter and hug Steve. Instead, he offers,

 

“If you get a hot drink no one knows what’s in it, dude. It’s just another Starbucks cup.” 

 

Bucky understands why Steve would take any chance he had to seem tougher. Looking like someone not to be fucked with is hard to do when you’re 5 foot nothing and maybe 100 pounds soaking wet. And wearing a sweater that practically hangs off both shoulders, seriously, can this guy not find clothes that fit?

 

Steve shrugs, then has to stop to pull his sweater back up on his shoulder.

 

“Venti chai latte, then?”

 

Bucky nods his approval.

 

“Much better. You’re gonna like that, got some nice spice to it.”

 

Steve shrugs and hands over a ten, and Bucky is sort of sad to see him go. The harried businessman who bellies up to the counter next commands his attention, and he doesn’t get to watch Steve’s reaction. Bucky, for once, can’t wait for his next shift.

 

\---

 

Bucky usually works morning shifts, since his college courses start in the afternoon most days. He has enough time for a workout every morning before he works, then he changes in the bathroom and hurries to his first class. And for the past two weeks, an addition to that routine has been a tiny, tired looking guy ordering a tall dark roast, taking a sip, clearly hating it, and not taking a single other sip up until he checks his phone for the time and hurries out, tossing his mostly full coffee on the way out.

 

It’s honestly pissing Bucky off, because he knows these drinks are insanely overpriced, and he wishes Steve would just try something better. Bucky himself hates the coffee at Starbucks, and only ever gets tea or a candy bar in a cup if he’s unlucky enough to be out of coffee at home and he needs a caffeine fix. But this guy seems to have his heart set on looking tough, for obvious reasons. Personally, Bucky thinks he’d be infinitely cuter if he indulged his obviously eclectic fashion sense (honestly, a pink and green sweater and ripped jeans like the ones he wore today would be great bases for some amazingly cute ensembles) and embraced his pixie like appearance. But then, Bucky guesses Steve doesn’t want to be pixie like. 

  
  


\---

When Steve comes in the next day, he orders a venti caramel latte with 2 extra shots of espresso. Bucky smiles at him and nods, scribbling on the cup before sending it to be made. Sam, who’s making the drinks that morning, glances at him and smiles knowingly when he sees the cup. It takes Steve a moment when he gets the cup, but he looks back at Bucky and smiles shyly. 

 

That night, instead of nightmares and ghost pain from where his arm used to be, he dreams about that cute smile. And in the morning, he wakes to a text from an unknown number;

 

+1(465)7809-2005

 

_ Hey, James. Hope I don’t wake you, but i was wondering if you were free anytime soon. _


End file.
